


Abusing Punctuation

by willowtree1415



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gen, M/M, Multi, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson Friendship, Teenlock, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-01-05 23:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowtree1415/pseuds/willowtree1415
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story about when Sherlock meets John through a online chat website, and after getting each others numbers they start to talk..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

27th January

Hey

Hello.

whats with the full stop?? :P

I write with correct punctuation.

so no winky faces then?? ;) 

No.

sooo... why are you talking to me then??

My brother says that i need to talk to people.

oh right ;) well don’t you? i mean usually??

No.

i can see why... but i like a challenge ;) 

What challenge?

You... :P get you to maybe relax a bit when talking to people!

Right. Am i not relaxed?

No, you and all your full stops! Throw in a winky face! ;) or a smiley face :) or a laughing face :D mix things up a little! ;) 

It doesn’t seem right. Abusing punctuation.

Go on... try it... ;)

No.

naw pleasseee! :D

No.

Why not! :( wouldn’t your brother be proud...come on!

:) 

there you go! I don’t even know you and we’re abusing punctuation together already! ;)

Why?

Why what? 

Why do you do these absurd faces with punctuation?

to get across emotions when you can’t see someones face i guess!... :) 

You use it way to frequently then. You can not possibly have that many emotions to inform me of.

:D lol

“lol” What is this?

laugh out loud?! you haven’t heard this before!

No.

Seriously!

No. Are you actually laughing out loud?

well no i’m kinda laughing inside but thats not the point

I do not understand.

what?

What the point is if you are not actually doing what it says.

well i guess its kinda like the smileys then ;)

Are you actually winking right now?

No :)

Then it is absurd and you use them far too often.

It doesn’t feel right without them though!! :)

That makes no sense, the english language has survived without these sideways faces for many many years up until the invention of the computer and text.

Well yeah but i can’t help it ;) feels like i’m being rude if i don't put one! :P 

Hmm. Well. Have it your way. I believe i do not know your name. What is it.

See that last text is just missing a little winky face on the end! ;) oh and John

It is perfectly understandable english without, and i am not winking. My name is Sherlock.

well night Sherlock :) Been nice talking to you :P 

Goodnight John.

 

29th January

 

Brr it’s cold today!! ;)

It appears to be so.

do you speak like that in real life?

Real Life? Is this pretend life then?

oh you know what i mean! in person!

Yes. What is wrong with it? 

Oh nothing nothing :) How old are you??

16.

hey same!! thats cool ;) Where do you live?

Isn’t that a rather personal question. We only met two days ago. if you can call that ‘meeting.’ 

Oh right no i guess it is. Sorry i was just wondering where you went to school. ;) 

Yes.

Yes?

You are thinking from my manner of speech that i go to a Public School.

How ddid you know that!!!! Woah thats like mind reading!

No it is not. 

Yeah!!

Simply Deduction. 

what?

Deduction.

yeah i did get the text but what do you mean??

I mean that i could tell from the manner you approached the question.

Righht well that was cool! :) what else can you do??

Everything.

okay well then Sir i can do everything ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey here is another chapter hope you like it it please comment if you do!!! :)

I do not have a knighthood, although my brother has threatened me with one on several occasions.

Wow!! What for?? :O 

The last one was for solving a particularly difficult triple murder and finding each of the bodies.

Haha!! 

What?

Good joke ;) 

Not a joke. Why would you think it was a joke?

What really??! I mean how?!! Isn't that stuff for the police!! 

The police are always out of their depths.   
But your 16! How did you manage to find the bodies and solve it all!!

Deduction. 

Well that's cool I guess! Like a private detective ;)

A Consulting Detective.

Huh? Never heard of that! :)

Created the job myself. Only one in the world.

Aha! So is that what you want to do when you're older?? ;)

Its what I do now.

Oh okay :) I want to be a doctor in the army maybe :)

Doctor John. Interesting I would have thought because you excel in sports you would have chosen that line of work.

Doctor Watson does have a nice ring to it :P and I have given up being surprised at how you know stuff :) I am captain of my rugby team so I am good at it but I guess I have just always preferred medicine to sports gotta know how to heal the injuries you make!! ;) 

Can't talk now. My brother is glaring at me for texting, and I need his help accessing police files for a murder inquiry. 

Oh okay ;) of course you do :) just don't get caught hacking into policey stuff :P

I never get caught. 

Good ;)

-

-

-

Policey? That word doesn't exist.

And invention of my own ;) not like you're not guilty of that :P anyway I thought you couldn't talk?

I can't, but I have mastered the technique of typing without looking.

Handy that ;) 

 

30th January

Hi what you up to :)

Solving a case about a missing diamond.

Ooh exciting!! :)

Yes. Thrilling.

-

-

-

-

What you doing now??? ;)

Found the missing diamond. It was the sister who took it.

Wow coolio! Good job ;)

Coolio? I assume it is a "john way" of saying the word cool? 

Yeppp you're right there ;)

 

1st February

Pinch punch first day of the month and no returns!! ;)

I do not understand.

Oh its just that thing you know that you did when you were a kid to each other at the start of the month ;)

I never did this as a child.

Nope I guess not ;) what did you do to entertain the six year old you then?? :)

Experimented.

What kind of experiments?? ;)

Everything.

Liiiike??...

For example I did an experiment when I was six that measured the weight of different species of frogs brains. 

Ewww!! Frog brains!!! Why??!!

It is necessary to acquire as much data as possible when in my field of work.

And I guess you started young then? ;)

Obviously.

-

-

-

Your weird you know that?

I have been informed of the so called "weird" nature of my personality. 

Yeah...but I mean a good weird :)

Is there such a thing?

Yeah! Oh course there is! :)

-

Sooo, what you up to now???? :)

Being stared at.

Whatt??

In my lesson at school.

You are at school?? But its Saturday!! 

Yes. Very observant John.

Ohhh public school??

Yes.

Sooo why you being stared at???

I merely corrected the teacher. 

Haha! Wow were you right??

Yes.

What did he say??

He has sent me out of the room.

Aww bad luck! :(

-

-

10pm:

Heyyjhds shetrlcokd!!hj

Hello John.

I amndb likle a kingf of the woirld!!

John. Are you drunk?

Yeska I dreank tooo muchhh!! Toooo much and nows imd nOotr feelllinbg too goooodddd!!!

Maybe you should go home John. 

Niooooo,!! Itrs toor miuch funn!!!

Fine just try not to walk into a road or anything similar.

Ikm okayyyuy!!! I willlll be fine youure being sso niceds!!! I'm cryrying sherlcolk whyyy is nobody ewlse nicegf to meee!!????? :((((((

John I would strongly advise you to go home.

Okayyys I wilel goo hommee!!


	3. Chapter 3

Omg Sherlock I am soooo sorry for those drunk texts from last night!! :/

Oh so you are alive then after your nights events?

Oooh sarcasm ;) and yeah but barely alive!! My head is killing me I get the worst hangovers :(

Perhaps don't drink so excessively next time?

I knooow!! But I always tell myself never again but then always do!! :(

You have no self control.

Nope ;) anyway what you up to??

I'm on the tube which is taking an irritatingly long time to arrive.

No way! Like London tube? As in the underground?? :o

Yes.

I live in London!!

I also live in London.

Wow! :) what are the chances!

Pretty high.

Whyyy?

Statistically.

Huh, well I still think it's pretty cool :)

Yes.

-

-

-

You could be my neighbor...

Possibly.

I could pass you in the street and not know it's you...

Yes. That is a possibility.

That's weird!! :)

Yes.

 

4th February:

 

Do you know someone named Gregory Lestrade?

Yesss..... Why???? :)

Oh. I know him also.

Really.... Have you been looking me up? :) Are you stalking me??? ;)

No.

Well I guess we must live pretty close then... :)

Yes, probably.

 

10th February:

 

You doing anything special for Valentines day???? ;)

No.

No girlfriend then?? ;)

No not really my area.

Oh, right. Boyfriend then? :) which is fine by the way!

I know it's fine.

So you have a boyfriend? :)

No.

Right :) good fine! So no plans then?

No. I realise it is common courtesy to ask if you have any plans.

Haha no I don't! :) nobody seems to want me too badly as their boyfriend! :(

Why not? You are athletic and clever, why wouldn't the girls want to date you?

Haha well for starters I don't know many and then they all seem to find me nice, but as a friend. :(

Ah.

Ah what? :)

I have heard of something referred to as 'The Friend Zone' which when explained to me seemed to be exactly the predicament you find yourself in.

Yeahh :/ happens to everyone! I mean it's not like I've never been with anyone! You know what I mean! But it's just really hard when they can only see you as a friend :(

I've never been with anyone.

Really?

Yes.

Okay, well that's fine, I didn't mean it was a bad thing or anything!! :)

Emotions are irritating, they get in the way.

Of what?? :)

My work.

ohhh :)

-

 

-

 

-

Can i ask you something???? :)

Yes.

Do you actually have any friends??? :?

No. I don't have '"Friends". They are unnecessary.

Oh, right :).....well what about me?? :P

About you? You are John.

No, well yes i am John, but aren't i your friend??? :)

I don't know.

Can we be friends then??? :)

I am uncertain about how to answer that request.

yesss??? :)

Yes?

Yaya! You now have a friend! :) meee!

-

-

-

Sherlock??? :?

:)

omg did you just send a smiley face!! :O

Clearly I did. They are for expressing an emotion, according to you.

Yeah! :) i just cant believe you sent one ;) Does that mean you are happy you are my friend then?? :)

Yes.

 

14th February:

Happy Valentines day!!!! :D

Not for everybody.

Who?? :)

The woman who has just been murdered by her husband with Valentine's Day chocolates.

urgh! :( who would do that!! :(

The husband.

I mean what kind of person!!! :(

Not a very nice one?

well yeah! :( aw now i feel all sad for the poor woman!! Why is there is nothing on the news about it??

I have only just found the body. Police haven't arrived yet.

WHATT??!

Did you not get the text?

yeah i did! why are you there??? How did you find her!!

I was looking for her.

Buuut, how did you know she was going to die??

Happy coincidence.

Omg, so youve called the police then??

Yes. They are just arriving.

Oh good. waittt how did you know she was murdered by the husband???

Process of elimination. Poison in the chocolates.

Wow, but wont the police wonder why you were there in the first place??? ;)

No. It is a common occurrence. That I frequent their crime scenes before they arrive.

Isn't that just making you a suspect???

Technically. Although now I have proven, and prevented a number of their crimes, they tend to let me off without questioning me.

Wow so you're like proper on crime scenes, and solving crimes and everything!! :0

Yes. Except now.

Why??

They sent a different DI. He wasn't familiar with my work, and so they just threw me off the crime scene.

Ah bad luck :( maybe another nice murder will come up :) cheer you up!!

I am almost certain one will. It is valentines day.

What does that have to do with it??

There is often an increase in murders on public holidays.

Ohh, right ;)

Well have a nice valentines day then! :)

And there we go another murder, in Brixton this time. I am having a good day.

Haha well enjoy your macabre interpretation of the holiday then!! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy any feedback would be great!!! thanks! :)


End file.
